Launch GoblinFor indie devs who ship but never share
Coding doesn't feed the goblin. Marketing does.
Launch Goblin hands you one marketing mission a day, tuned to the channels you actually use. Do it, drop the receipt, feed the goblin. Skip it, and he starts looking… unwell.
Today's roast · one of 168 waiting in the app
- One mission a day, sized to fit
- Receipts, not vibes
- No account, no login
Daily Missions
One mission a day. Yours, not generic.
Tell the goblin where you fight for users — X, short-form video, paid ads, communities, cold outreach, content, launches — and the daily board serves missions for those channels. No essays assigned to ad buyers. No ad audits assigned to writers.
- ✦Four difficulty tiers, from a 5-minute easy win to a full launch thread.
- ✦A fresh board every day — complete any mission to feed the goblin.
- ✦Morning notification names the actual mission, so you open the app knowing today's job.
Mission Receipts
Receipts, not vibes
Completing a mission means saying what you did — paste the link or type it out. The goblin can't verify it. You can. Every receipt lands in your log, and your future self reads them like a marketing changelog for your app.
- ✦Typing a fake receipt is harder on the ego than doing the five-minute task. That's the design.
- ✦A daily receipt card to share — proof of work for your build-in-public feed.
- ✦Preview before you post. Nothing shares without you seeing the card first.
Streaks & Evolution
Feed him, or watch him fade
Every marketing action feeds the goblin. He levels up, evolves through four forms, and struts around in goggles and a cape. Ghost him and he gets hungry, then sad, then furious — and eventually packs a bindle and leaves.
- ✦Baby, Growth, Launch, Legendary — evolution driven by real XP, visible everywhere in the app.
- ✦A daily XP cap so streaks are won by showing up, not tap-farming.
- ✦Evening streak guard warns you before a streak dies at midnight — never after.
The Leaderboard
Race real founders. No accounts.
A global streak-and-XP board with no logins and no usernames to moderate — you compete under an anonymous goblin handle you can reroll anytime. Until the crowd fills in, a labeled NPC practice league keeps the podium warm.
- ✦A pinned "You" bar with a catch-up target — always two streak days from passing someone.
- ✦Cheat-resistant by design: scores that outrun their own account age simply don't render.
- ✦Optional. One toggle in Settings and you're off the board.
The Roast Library
130+ roasts. All earned.
Tap Roast Me and the goblin says what your cofounder would if you had one. Bring an excuse to the Excuse Room — "I was coding", "I was fixing bugs" — and get the verdict you deserve. Save the good ones. Share the brutal ones.
- ✦A deterministic daily roast on your Home screen, different every day.
- ✦The Excuse Room accepts custom excuses. The goblin has heard them all.
- ✦Roast share cards built for the group chat.
And the rest of the arsenal
Built to make you market
Every mechanic in Launch Goblin exists to get one marketing action out of you per day. That's the whole job. He will not let you forget it.
Channel-tuned missions
Eight channels, four difficulty tiers. Your onboarding answers decide what shows up on your board.
Mission receipts
Say what you did to claim the XP. Your receipts pile up into a personal marketing log.
Streaks that decay
Miss a day and the goblin's mood slides. Miss a week and he packs a bindle. Real stakes, drawn in cartoon.
XP & evolution
Level up through four goblin forms. The evolved forms show up everywhere — as long as he's fed.
Smart reminders
A morning mission brief and an evening streak guard that only fires if you're actually at risk. All local.
Anonymous leaderboard
Global streak and XP boards under a rerollable goblin handle. No account. Opt out with one toggle.
Share cards
Streak cards, roast cards and the daily marketing receipt — rendered for you, previewed before anything leaves the app.
Private by design
No account, no ads, no behavioral tracking. Your missions and receipts live on your iPhone, not our servers.
"Nobody is coming to discover you. That's the job. That's the whole job."
The Goblin, most mornings
Day 1 starts today
Ship the app. Then feed the goblin.
Two minutes of setup: your channels, your rhythm, your first mission. By tonight you'll have done one real marketing action — and he'll already be insufferably proud of you.
Free to download. Made for iPhone.
